YOUR ROD AND YOUR STAFF THEY COMFORT ME
After 5 months of labor at Tianjia Hut, we were again transferred to the state-run Myriad-Pigs Camp by the Dingtang Lake in Luqiao Town, Zhenyuan County. Owing to poor management, all the pigs had died. When we arrived, we saw rows upon rows of pig-shacks that we later used as living quarters. On the first night, as our luggage had not yet arrived and it was cold, we could only make nest-like beddings with the haystacks to sleep on. However, the hay could not keep off the cold air and I could not sleep all night. I remembered that the loving Lord was born in a manger, without pillow or bed, simply wrapped in cloth. ※Lord! You＊ve experienced what I＊m going through. How wide, long, deep and high your love is for me!§
The roof of the shack was made of straw, and it leaked every time it rained. The leak was especially bad over the spaces occupied by Sister Muen Yuan and me. On rainy days we were not required to work and were thus relieved of heavy duties. However, we would rather work on sunny days for fear of water leakage on rainy days. That was because once it started raining, we had to use every kind of water container we could find, such as dishpans, cups and bowls, to hold the dripping water.
On the contrary, there was a great shortage of water supply. Not only was there no tap-water, we even had to walk almost 2 miles to the nearby pond for bathing and washing clothes, bringing back water in serving cups. However, by the time we tottered back to the shack, usually only half a cup was left. Recalling that I had wasted much grace from the Lord by not conserving tap-water when I was in Shanghai, I submitted to the Lord＊s discipline and prayed that I would not again waste His grace.
All this while, I was suffering from heart disease, slight ascites, and worse yet, bed-wetting. Actually, while in the power-station site, I could not move big rocks and was rebuked by other prisoners, ※Fed to be so stout, yet have no energy to work - are you reserving your energy for the coffin?§ Rejecting such comments, I exercised all my strength to lift the rocks, which led to my bed-wetting. At the time I thought I was doing it for the name of the Lord and for His glory, whereas, in actual fact, I was driven by vanity and flesh, thus suffering loss.
Luqiao was an exceptionally cold place. Every night my mattress and blankets were soaked with urine, and I had to leave them outside to dry. Instead of evaporating, however, the moisture froze. I found myself in an awkward predicament. A sympathetic cadre said to a fellow-sufferer, ※You should take care of her. Give her a call when you get up to use the toilet at night.§ This made the situation worse. One after one, they woke me up when they got up, with the result that I could not have a good night＊s sleep. I wrote to my relatives about my predicament and they sent me a piece of rubber cloth. Our spaces were next to each other, each occupying a width of only three-and-a-half bricks. I placed the rubber cloth on top of my mattress so that it no longer soaked through. The urine, however, spread to the beds on my 2 sides, inviting derision from others. I could only pray, ※Heavenly Lord, your eyes search the whole land! You see your child＊s predicament; have mercy, please!§
Blessed be the Lord who listened to prayers! One day, a doctor cadre (the physician of the labor camp) suddenly called me to the office and gave me a hospital card permitting me to be hospitalized for heart treatment. What surprised me even more was that a doctor in the hospital was from my village in Fujian who had studied in Germany and Japan and possessed rather outstanding medical skills. After only 2 courses of treatment, my incontinence was healed. I could never fully recount the Lord＊s love for me! ※Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits; who forgives all [my] iniquities, who heals all [my] diseases§ (Psalm 103:2,3).